Archive for the ‘Dragged over’ Category
I am too lazy for the past few weeks now. I lack the motivation that I used to be abundant of. I don’t have the energy to put in as much work as I used to.
But I need to stay focused. I have obligations to fulfill and being lazy will derail my plans. So this time around, I am posting this message here and will use it as an inspiration.
Yes. I should never, never, never give up!
I almost went to New York. A good friend of mine from college went there to work in a big audit firm. She encouraged me to apply for a visa so that we could probably work together or even rent an apartment together. It would be great and I was so excited to start a new life elsewhere!
But then my mom got sick. I was halfhearted already when I applied for the visa. I was no longer that interested and excited because I knew I couldn’t leave my mom. Sure, I could have probably sent home more money but then I would be away and would have spent less time with her. In the end, I didn’t go. For one, my visa application got denied. And then I knew in my heart I really couldn’t leave my mom, even if more money awaited me.
It was a wise decision. I could have applied after my mom passed away but the old lure of New York or even going abroad is not there anymore. Life is with my family. Life is too short and I don’t want to spend it away from them anymore.
One of the disadvantages of coming from a large family is not having a bedroom to yourself. You have to share it unless your house is equipped with the number of bedrooms exactly as the number of people in the house. I am not complaining that I have to share the bedroom with my sisters. In fact, I enjoy having my sisters in the same bedroom because we get to gossip at night before we go to sleep. But there are days when I feel like being alone and wanting some peace and quiet in the bedroom.
In those days, I am dreaming of the bedroom above. Cozy and complete with a shelf full of books!
Whenever I see something that would remind me of the old blogs, I feel this tug in my heart. I miss it! I worked hard for those blogs, the first one with my name the most. I worked hard to increase its Alexa rank and to get back its PR. But it was taken just like that. Sigh.
Oh well, it was meant to be. I knew when the falling out happened that I should expect it to happen. Old blogs taken away in an instant!
Nakakahinayang lang talaga.
Whenever I talk to someone troubled, I don’t like dishing out advices. Do you know why? Because I might give out bad ones and the person could get into more trouble. I don’t want that to happen.
The thing I tell troubled persons is always this…
“This too shall pass.”
That and I will pray for him/her. I know it’s cliche but it is true. Everything passes us by. No matter how good or bad a thing that entered our lives, it will have to go out and say goodbye. Even troubles and success alike.
Still nothing. I wish I really prepared for it instead of just being surprised. Good thing something came out of it. Something good. And it taught me a lesson. Never fully depend on another person, unless you know that person really well. If not, then don’t even depend on him/her. Just like what I did.
Now, I am left with the end of it.
It’s really sad. I hope things won’t affect something. It’s all so sudden. Somehow, I know, there’s a way to solve this but I have to talk to the person and I don’t want that to happen if I can avoid it.
I haven’t talked to her for over a year now. I don’t want to start talking to her by begging her to put it back up. No way, Jose! I’d rather find a solution myself. And I will. It’s probably a sign for me to give it up. Long overdue already.
Well, this is it then. No more looking back. Anyway, I have the backup and I can do something to put it back up myself, only in a different home.